Funnybone

You May be a Farmer If ...

• Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
• You convince your wife than an overnight, out-of-state trip for parts is a vacation.
• You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.
• You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
• You've never thrown away a 5-gal. bucket.
• You have used bailing wire to attach a license plate.
• You've fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment.
• You have used a velvetleaf plant as toilet paper.
• You have driven off the road while examining your neighbor's crops.
• You've borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.
• You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.
• You have used a tractor front-end loader as scaffolding for roof repairs.